Pondering the future while standing on one foot

A couple months ago, I informed all our faithful readers that Aubrey and I will be heading back to the US at the end of December. After two really enjoyable and life-changing years in Korea, the thing that motivated us to really want to head back to the US was the prospect of my working at Emmaus Ministries. (Well, that's actually more true for me. Aubrey really missed home and wanted to go back, but I was okay staying in Korea for another year or two, especially with the economy in free-fall.)

I worked at Emmaus for a year-and-a-half before I went to grad school, and it was the one place I really wanted to work. In early September, John Green, the executive director of Emmaus, emailed me to let me know about a development (i.e. fundraising and PR) position they were creating at Emmaus. I wasn't guaranteed a job there, of course, but in order to have a chance at it, Aubrey and I would have to commit to heading back to Chicago, which we did. I interviewed for the position (multiple times) and, at long last, received a conditional offer for the position from Emmaus (dependent on their financial situation at the end of 2008, which, as a nonprofit, was up in the air). Although it wasn't a definite thing, I was encouraged. I'd have to wait for January to find out, but I'd be applying for other jobs in the meantime and, if things went as I hoped they would, I'd start work for Emmaus in January.

Yesterday I found out that things had changed. Emmaus's financial situation has considerably worsened, and John Green and Emmaus's Board of Directors decided that something needed to be done. So they changed the parameters of the job I'd applied for, rescinded the conditional offer they'd made to me, and gave the new position to another of the final candidates on the list for the original position, to start December 1st. I was obviously surprised and disappointed when I got the message from John, but he and I talked about it and I understand and respect their reasons for making the changes. (If you haven't already checked out Emmaus, you really should. They do great work for a group of people literally no one else in the area specifically targets or helps. They could really use your help. Look them up: www.streets.org.)

During my waiting for Emmaus, I'd also been in discussions with people at the Archdiocese of Chicago to possibly become the director of their local grantmaking operations (a really cool position with the potential to do some great things). The day before I found out about the Emmaus position falling through, I learned that the position at the Archdiocese had just fallen through and wouldn't be available after all. Over the past couple days, what had looked like a fairly hopeful job future for me in America has evaporated into a batch of uncertainty.

At first, of course, I was worried and nervous. Things are not good for jobseekers in the US right now, and given the foolish policies people in the federal government seem poised to pursue over the next 18 months, they will probably get considerably worse before they get better. Our friends here want us to stay, and a part of us also wants to stay. It would be great to get to know the couples we've met here a lot better, and there is real job security in teaching English (if you're good at it, which I'm told we are). We could stay here for a bit longer and save more money (at the end of the year we'll have about $12,000 on hand, after having paid off close to $30,000 in student loans and credit card bills over the past two years). The parts of us that crave safety and security are telling us, very loudly, that we should stay.

But we are not going to stay.

We've really enjoyed out time here. We've made friendships that we will cherish for the rest of our lives, and we've learned things about the world and ourselves that would have been difficult -- if not impossible -- to learn if we'd stayed in America, or even left after one year. Over the past few months, however, we've become fairly certain that what God wants for us right now is to head back to America. The timing of the announcement of the position at Emmaus seemed providential at the time, and further prayer and reflection have confirmed for us that we're correct in deciding to go home. Parting from our friends here will indeed be sweet sorrow, but we're pretty sure that it's the right thing to do.

Which brings me to the title of this post. I called my folks and two close friends last night to seek their advice about what we should do. My parents said they'd support us in whatever we chose. (They're cool like that.) My friends advised me to follow what we thought was God's will in the subject. As one of my friends said, "You say you're pretty sure that God wants you to go back. I think you have your answer about what to do. Now you just have to do it."

His advice reminded me of a story about the famous ancient rabbi, Hillel (who died about the time Christ was born), who was challenged by a student to recite the Torah while standing on one foot. Rabbi Hillel stood on one foot and said, "What is hateful to thee, do it not to thy brother. This is the whole of the Torah. All else is commentary. Go and do likewise." I feel like right now I could stand on one foot and sum up our situation similarly: "If you're sure God wants you to do something, you need to do it. This is the whole of good living. All other things are details. Go and do it." It may not feel like the most secure route at the moment, but we're pretty sure it will prove to be the best for us. As C.S. Lewis said, sometimes, "the longest way 'round is the shortest way home."

We'll arrive in Chicago on December 21. Our plan is to spend Christmas in Chicago and then head out to New Hampshire to see my folks for New Years. After that, we'll see what happens. I'm applying to several jobs right now, although I haven't heard anything back. If any of you have any need of, or know people who may have need of, a person with excellent writing and people skills and an interest in grantwriting, PR or marketing work, copy editing, or really just anything that pays money and involves thinking and communicating, I'd really appreciate it if you could pass my name on. Thank you very much for your help in advance, and have a happy Thanksgiving.